Most people are not born knowing how to declutter and organize. It’s a muscle and a skill that gets built over time. Teaching your children how to declutter is easier than you think but it will take commitment and time.
As a teacher, we used the gradual release method to teach a new skill. While I’ve used this for learning how to identify the main idea, I’m going to apply this same method to decluttering.
Model > Guided Practice > Independent Practice
Here’s how it works: I model a skill by thinking aloud and providing examples, we then try the new skill together as I guide you, and then you try the skill on your own and I provide feedback and support as needed.
And that’s exactly what I want you to do in order to teach your children how to declutter their belongings too.
Chances are your kids have a lot of stuff. It comes from grandparents, friends, Halloween candy, Valentine’s bags, goodie bags, carnivals, nature, all the things.
Just like you make decisions about keeping or donating your clothes and belongings, you have to teach your children to do the same.
You can declutter their things without them, but that only teaches your kids that their things disappear by themselves and there are no consequences to having more stuff in one space.
So, here is exactly how to teach your kids how to declutter:
Be the model
Include your children in your process of decluttering your clothes and other items by thinking aloud and having them observe what you say and do. This doesn’t have to be long. Take 5 minutes and literally show ‘em how it’s done.
They don’t need to make any decisions yet but just listening to you and being able to see how you gladly let some things go while you may process out loud other items you aren’t sure about.
Thinking aloud may seem silly, but that’s how your children will learn about decluttering too.
Say things like:
- “Oh, I love this dress! It makes me feel so good. I’m definitely keeping this!”
- “These jeans used to be my favorite. I just don’t wear them anymore and they are taking up so much space. I think it’s time to let someone else be able to use them.”
- “I’m not too sure about if I want to keep this blue shirt or not. I will move it to the front of my closet and if I haven’t worn it by May, then I’m going to donate!”
Change the language you are using for the age of your child, but nothing is off the table when it comes to teaching children how to declutter.
At this stage, don’t ask them questions like, “What do you think?” or “How should I donate this?” That comes next in the “Guided Practice”.
Be the guide
Next in the gradual release is guiding your child in the new skill, decluttering.
Choose a day and time when you can guide and support your child looking through their clothes and toys to decide what to keep. It can be after you have just done an example in your own closet or it could be the next day.
Do it sooner rather than later so your child doesn’t forget what they saw in your model because then you can refer back to your examples. “Do you remember when I wasn’t sure if I wanted to keep the blue shirt?”
Your examples are the best way to start teaching your children how to let go.
Be the support
As time progresses and your children practice decluttering and they witness your decluttering habits, you will see them make decisions on their own and that is a beautiful thing.
It won’t happen overnight. It takes time.
Be excited for them when they decide to let go of something. The worst thing you could do is question their decision. Remember, you want to teach your children how to declutter which means praising them when they want to let go of something.
This might be hard when you realize they do not like the gift you got them. Don’t take offense. The item isn’t serving them well and they realize it’s time for it to be used by someone who might really need it.
But what if my child doesn’t want to declutter?
First, don’t force your child to declutter any of their belongings. In this moment of stubbornness, you have to keep being the example. Go back to your things and think aloud as you decide what to keep, trash, or donate.
Second, and this might ruffle some feathers, do YOU want to declutter? You can’t expect your child to declutter if you aren’t willing to do some of this work yourself.
Lastly, make it fun! Have them pick the music. Listen to Baby Shark on repeat 3 times. Set a timer for 5 minutes. This does not need to be an all day event. Break it into smaller tasks. Put a hoop above the donate box for your child to toss in what they want to donate.
But remember, if you are bored with decluttering or don’t want to do it, chances are your child won’t want to either. You have to create buy-in and continue to be the example.
Decluttering inspiration for when it feels impossible
✔️ In fall of 2024, I started a podcast called The Declutter Diaries (you can listen on Apple or Spotify) with a dear friend and licensed therapist, Tina Wolff. We started the conversation about organizing and decluttering with its direct correlation to mental health. Pick an episode and dive on in.
✔️ Visit my Amazon Store Bin Your Space and find organizing containers and recommendations by room. Specifically, I have recommendations for all the kid things in the nursery, bathroom, and bedroom. When you purchase through these links, you are also supporting my small business. Thank you!
✔️ If you’re ready to hire a professional organizer, let’s chat about a plan for your space! I can help you and your family begin the decluttering process to create a simplified space that is easy to maintain.
I am passionate about helping families declutter and organize because it effects every other aspect of your life. I’m here to help you feel unstuck, less overwhelmed, and more productive in all aspects of your life. And it starts with decluttering your space.
If you have any questions or comments, drop them below and let’s continue the conversation! Or email me at bonnie@binyourspace.com.
Bonnie Hintenach | Bin Your Space | Maryland Professional Organizer | Organizing Expert
